Cool tricks that neurodiverse burnout plays on your brain

Burnout is really actionable and treatable. But being burnt out makes you doubt your perception of how bad it is, so recovery often involves an awkward process of overriding the mind games, and acting anyway.

Here’s a list of tricks that burnout plays on you, in rough order of where they appear in a burnout cycle.

It’s not really burnout

• You think it’s not burnout
• You think it’s not that bad
• You think you should be able to cope
• You think you’re just being lazy, sensitive, or dramatic

There must be an easier way out

• You think there should be an easy solution
• You think you need to change
• You think it’ll get better by itself
• You think you just need a single day off
• You think if you just finish this one thing, then you can rest
• You think changing one or two superficial things will fix it

You need permission to act

• You think burnout needs to be diagnosed by a professional
• You think you’re not “bad enough” yet
• You think you have to keep masking to be taken seriously

You can’t ask for help

• You think you don’t need help
• You think you don’t deserve help
• You think asking for help won’t help
• You think asking for help will take energy you don’t have
• You think your team won’t manage without you

You can’t actually rest

• You think you don’t need that much rest
• You think you’re not resting enough (or you’re doing it wrong)
• You think rest has to be earned

You’ll snap back

• You think you can go back to how things were
• You think recovery is linear
• You think this is just who you are now

Do any of these sound familiar?

Outwitting yourself, and getting on the road to recovery

If you find yourself giving yourself reasons to ignore or push through burnout, THAT’S THE BURNOUT TALKING! It’s very clever, but you are cleverer, and you might find ways to “think around” those thoughts.

Here is the list again, but with some ways to challenge those thoughts, if you have them.

It’s not really burnout

• You think it’s not burnout (check the symptom lists and give yourself the benefit of the doubt)
• You think it’s not that bad (burnout tends not to improve if untreated)
• You think you should be able to cope (it’s OK to feel overwhelmed)
• You think you’re just being lazy, sensitive or dramatic (you’re having a really normal response to overwhelm)

There must be an easier way out

• You think there should be an easy solution (easier than rest?)
• You think you need to change (something needs to change in your environment)
• You think it’ll get better by itself (it tends not to)
• You think you just need a single day off (rest and recovery tends to take multiple weeks; more than you think)
• You think if you just finish this one thing, then you can rest (there will be another thing)
• You think changing one or two superficial things will fix it (something significant and permanent is usually needed)

You need permission to act

• You think burnout needs to be diagnosed by a professional (you can trust yourself)
• You think you’re not “bad enough” yet (the earlier you act, the faster it resolves)
• You think you have to keep masking to be taken seriously (hello internalised ableism, my old friend)

You can’t ask for help

• You think you don’t need help (everybody can use help)
• You think you don’t deserve help (everybody deserves help)
• You think asking for help won’t help (more than not asking for help?)
• You think asking for help will take energy you don’t have (asking for help is an investment in increasing your energy capacity)
• You think your team won’t manage without you (your team can figure that out - that’s what teams are for)

You can’t actually rest

• You think you don’t need that much rest (recovery usually takes more time than you’re comfortable with)
• You think you’re not resting enough (or you’re doing it wrong) (that feeling is an expected part of the process; it passes)
• You think rest has to be earned (you already earned it, but you haven’t been paying yourself)

You’ll snap back

• You think you can go back to how things were (usually permanent change is needed to disrupt the cycle)
• You think recovery is linear (usually it takes a few goes)
• You think this is just who you are now (it gets better)

If you see yourself in this picture and don’t like it, or if you are struggling with burnout and how to act on it, I really like Dr Megan Anna Neff’s guides to Autistic and ADHD burnout. You are also welcome to get in touch with me to talk about coaching through burnout.